Stress Brought About By A Catastrophic Illness In A Parent

2/6/2008

A middle aged father in my practice suffered a debilitating stroke last year. He has been home for months now coping with many of the physical and emotional issues of a serious stroke. The mom has been doing an incredible job keeping the family together and cared for. I have seen two of the teen age children with stress related complaints mostly involving severe headaches and neck pain. Both teens recognize that stress is playing a role in their symptoms.

After a thorough examination, I reassured both teens that they had no serious underlying illness however I did point out that stress harms more people than almost all other illnesses combined. Neither teen has been seeing a counselor or therapist on a regular basis.

I raise this case for two reasons. Firstly, it is imperative that we recognize the devastating effect of a catastrophic illness on the entire family. The victims of this stroke include the spouse and children as well. This young man was very clear that his dad was “just not the same”. This was a breakthrough that he never expressed to me before this visit. The second important factor is the recognition that demystifying the situation is critical to children and teens. What does that mean? Although it may seem clear to all adults that stress can harm and cause true physical symptoms and illness, it is not clear to younger folks. Both teens were absolutely astounded that they could feel so sick from an emotion. When dealing with any long term issue that is based on an emotional trigger, in this case stress, demystifying the cause and discussing it openly is half the battle.

I arranged for a phone call with mom and suggested immediate counseling with the emphasis on rebuilding the family unit and treating a child like a child. Often when catastrophic illness strikes, childhood is stolen from the kids in the family. The children go from care acceptors to caregivers virtually overnight. Seeing a sibling or a parent change after an illness adds to the stress levels. Psychological counseling and family support are critical to children and teens. These silent victims of catastrophic illness are often the most severely affected if not dealt with. My view is that with the family involved, the prognosis for the children is great as the mom and dad are very supportive of seeking this type of help for the kids.

      

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